Monday, March 4, 2013

Trying to keep my cool...

I am having a hard time, keeping my cool, not the cool kids kind of cool because that left the second I had kids.  Before I dive into the meat of it, I have to say that there a few tenets that must be known.

1)  I love sports, especially sports that my kids are playing.
2)  I have coached and I've been a coach's wife, so I know it isn't always easy.
3)  I love my kids more than anything, especially more than any high school coach that I know.

This particular soccer season has me in crisis.  Not a true crisis but in a self-imposed crisis.  I am having a hard time being a good role model to my girls which pains me more than anything.  Here is what has me in that crisis.

Abs has devoted her athletic ability to soccer; enough so that she has whittled down her time in other sports. She skips gymnastics over soccer.  She didn't play basketball, even though she really wanted to be with her friends, because she wanted to devote her time to her soccer team, so she could be ready for her high school season.  She worked.  She worked extremely hard and was rewarded on her club team (which is coached by two very well respected and reputable coaches) by playing almost full time in almost every outdoor game she played in.  I will always say that Abbey is, more often than not, the hardest worker on the field.  She is always the hardest worker in any situation (except maybe cleaning which is another story!).  In fact, her work ethic is something that I greatly admire.  I want to be as diligent as she is when I decide to grow up.

High school tryout season arrives and even though she was coming off of a sprain she didn't want to take a deferred tryout, she wanted to go and give it her all.  And she did.

Flashback to last season, she was one of the leaders on the JV team, recognized by the coaches as she was also called up to play Varsity.  Well, called up to play just enough not to letter.

Back to present day, Abs gets put on JV, even though there are several girls that she outplays, in particular a Sophomore that made varsity last year, and when Abbey was subbing on varsity this girl got less time than Abs.  There is also a Freshman that only went to tryouts because her mom made her, she has no heart in it at all.  Finally a Sophomore, who isn't 1/2 the soccer player Abbey is, plays 0 club soccer because it isn't her favorite sport and who plays some of the laziest defending that I have ever seen.  I know it sounds like sour grapes from a disappointed mom but even other parents have commented to me on it when they saw who had made which team.  The odd thing is, those 3 girls have one thing in common, the head coach has prior experience with those girls' families because of older siblings playing sports.

I have to give my girl props though, she went to the coach and plead her own case.  Asked how he could make that decision when she, and two girls (both juniors) and her two friends from her club team, who also play on the high school team, are not only better players but have more heart, tenacity, and drive than any of the others that play.  The coach gave her some bullshit answer about the fact that there will be a lower level Varsity and a higher level JV and positions will be rotated.  If that were true the coach would make everyone earn their spot each week.  Make them challenge and work for the spot.  Instead, it will be a series of favoritisms and slights;  recognition and dismissal.

And from my side of the sideline a lot of opportunities to show my girl that even though life isn't always fair; her mom will always be her biggest cheerleader, her strongest ally, and her biggest fan!

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